Sarah Vaughn

It’s Monday again and I have been doing so much thinking this weekend. Mainly about our upcoming move. Let me just be completely transparent. This thing has not looked at all what I thought it should look like. It has definitely not been a pretty little package that has all been all wrapped up by the end of the half-hour, if you know what I mean. When we moved here from Tennessee we made the move in less than 2 months…….found an apartment, sold the house in 26 days and the money from that lasted enough time for me to find a job while Tyler went back to school. This time, however, looks completely different. Nothing seems to be quite coming together the way I think it should. Both Tyler and I have been praying and asking, “Did we miss it? Is this right?” To which the answer is, “Go to Texas.” At church on Saturday night, I just really began to engage my heart with the Lord during worship and surrender my little box, my expectations of how things should be done and my will (once again). Between some encouragement during worship and part of our pastor’s sermon concerning the fire of God and what it produces in us it really reminded me that life is not always pretty and simple; by that I mean that things don’t always turn out the way we think they should. God’s economy is faith…..walk by faith and not by sight. God said to go, so we are going trusting that He is working everything out for our good; that He is setting everything into place for us.

Taking my faith to the next level, and with a grateful attitude.

In the midst of all that’s going on in our lives…..trying to care for 2 little ones, trying to finish up recording and oh yeah, we are about to move too…..I’m reminding myself (after I did the same for a friend yesterday) that God is faithful. He knows. Simply that, He knows. He’s never let me down and He’s not about to start today, right. I know on the outside to a lot of people this move may look stupid….we aren’t moving for a specific job, no ministry position, heck we don’t even have a house. It doesn’t look logical to me. But here’s what I do know: God said go. How could we ignore that. Obviously we can’t. He knows, He sees what’s ahead.

God, even though I consider myself to be a person of faith I find it a challenge every few days to trust that you know what you are doing and yet it’s mixed with this excitement about what you have in store. Teach my heart to trust even more than I already do. Let each time you ask us to step out be a testament and a story for us to tell our children of your faithfulness….of how you moved on our behalf over and over again. Let these be stories that will be passed down to their children and so on. Let the heritage that we pass on be that we trusted God and He was faithful to the end.

It’s Monday morning again. I always sit and think and reflect on Mondays about what I did last week and how I can do life better the coming week. Well, here’s what I’m thinking about today…..

The past several weeks I have been extremely stressed out with Laila. She all of a sudden has been exceptionally fussy and so difficult to deal with. Literally screaming for hours a day with no physical sign of anything wrong. (After a trip to the doctor Friday it turns out she has an ear infection and is working on 2 more teeth)   I’ve caught myself thinking (and I’m being completely honest so don’t judge me) “Why did God give me twins? I would have done so much better with just one child at a time like everyone else.” Now, I have not been thinking I didn’t want Laila or that I would choose one of my children over the other…..but this is hard. I was never the one who just always had a kid in my arms or did a lot of babysitting growing up…….but I have always wanted children. I have been thinking about this and about how I wish I did not get so stressed out. My parents were with us over the weekend to watch the girls so I could go into the studio and do what I need to do (and to give them every opportunity to see the girls before we move 12 hours away). They loved every minute of it, as all grandparents do, and played all weekend….didn’t stress them out at all.   I’m thinking “I need to be more like that.” Now, I know they go home and they don’t have them all the time, but I should still be enjoying every minute of life with my girls. I need to ease up a bit and just enjoy the time I get to spend with them each day. No, it’s not an easy road right now but so what. When has life ever really been easy, and whoever said it was supposed to be?  Selah.

So, Lord please give me the grace and ability to be the most loving and patient mother I can be.  Help me to see the joy in every day life as a mother.  Open my eyes to see where I need to relax a bit; where I am expecting perfection allow me to embrace fully and with a grateful heart all you’ve given me.  Show me what matters, what’s important and what can wait.  Show me how to walk this out.  Give me the grace and love to continue to be and a supportive and loving wife to my husband.  Show me where I am not selflessly giving of myself to him as well.  In a nutshell………make me more like you Jesus. And continue to captivate my heart over and over again.

Amen.